Chapter 3 Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain"

January 2006


Here we are in court once again. I'm waiting...waiting...waiting. This whole process seems so bizarre and unreal. We have laws and rule that our society is to live by. We have punishments and conequences for not following these rules. But somehow these rules of contact do not apply to the legal system of divoce. We can basically do as we please here. We can follow the rules, as I have, or continually break them, as my ex has, with absolutely no consequences or punishment.


I have to keep reminding myself why I started this whole thing in the first place. So many times I find myself wanting to give up, throw in the towel and get on with my life. But I know I can't do that for the sake of my children. I have to continue to fight the fight until it comes to an end.

My greatest motivation in filing for divorce was because I didn't want my children to think this was the way a marriage should work. I don't want Melissa to end up with a man how controls her behavior to the point that she does not because the person she wants to be.

And how can I explan to Joe that this is not how you treat a woman. How will he learn respect and working together and listening to his wife's opinions and feelings if he sees that his mother doesn't have an opinion of her own.

My biggest fear is that my kids will grow up so affected by all of this that they will end up in similar situations. They've spent there life watching their mother be pushed around and watching their father do the pushing. How has this changed their perspective?

So, with my kids as my motivation, off I went in search of an attorney. You have no idea how scarey that was. What if Mike found out? What if I couldn't go through with it? But with the support of my friends and family, I was able to put the legal wheels in motion.